Fear Within 2003

As the time comes closer
I feel the fears which is in my heart
it has never left me
so I have never grown
to excel in anything

The fear of the nuns/priest
is like a cloud over me
which covers
the very being of my soul

Abuse destroys and
decays the mind and soul It leaves you devastated
and destroys you completely
it degrades and humiliates you
with no trust for anyone

I am out there in Limbo
because of the death of my soul
with no hope to heal
The injuries inflicted on me,
were severe physical beatings;
with spiritual abuse each day

I served a 24 year sentence
in what I now call a prison
and the sentence carried on and on
I was destined for suffering
and for failure
I don't have any confidence

The only thing I am guilty of
is telling the truth
I was shown only cruelty,
pain, hate and abuse.
for they killed me time after time
with their hands
and also abuse with their tongue

I was as the nuns called
the problem of the
unmarried mother
born out of wedlock
A rebel of bad blood
an unwanted child
to all who knew me.

I have carried this secret for years.
Thinking it was me who was at fault
I could not tell of my Shame
I was tormented and embarrassed
The shame is mine alone to bare

Copyright@ 2002 Ann Thompson

All Rights Reserved