You did not see the pain

That the little girl had inside

who knew only the orphan way of life

She had no mother she was told

and all of the bad things

that were said to her are still in her head

about her mother who was just a child

The little girl wished that she could have been

her mother's child.

You did not see the fear in me

as you walked by me

swinging a stick behind your back

then out it would come

without a sound

and the swish of the whip

as it came across my back

then the screams of pain

which I knew you heard

But never did I hear a kind word from you

You did not see the torment in my

as the years went by

you have permanently left the scars

on my body and soul

You used me as a scapegoat

as you made me bare the blame for others

without a word for my defense

as I was never heard.

You did not see the pain in my Heart

as you stole it from me years gone by

to live from day to day

without God's love

to hide and sneak around the Place

so no one could find me

to hit me and hurt me again

because there was no place to hid.

You did not see my shame

as you put the dunce hut on my head

while on the stool

I had to sit in the corner

and each and every child

was told to laugh at me

because of the spelling I got wrong

which was the start of me

not having a friend.

You did not see the humiliation in me

each night with three nuns

who thrashed me

as they stripped me naked

of all clothes

tied me hand and feet to each end of the bed

and then made me kneel down

with my head on the floor

to apologize for the wrong I did not do.

You did not see in me

the little innocent girl I was

who was hurting deep inside

because the walking dead was I

because the little child in me

was gone for ever more.

You did not see my innocence in me

as my innocence was taken away from me

by the lay workers, nuns and a priest

who did not care for the child

who cried most nights on the floor

and beside her bed she did pray

for Jesus and Mary

to take her away.

You did not see my grieving Heart and Soul

because of been unfairly treated

the ugly, distorted, harsh

and unpleasant thrashings

I got over the bed at night times

with very severe painful injuries

I received from you all.

You did not see my Heart

which bled with torment inside

as you ripped my heart out of me

so many years ago

and no love was shown to me as a child

Because without a mother's love

A child's souls dose not grow.

You did not see the spiritual Abuse

which you put me through

from day to day

as each day you talked of God

with hate

Who shall show no mercy

to us little children

and that hell was where

we would all go when we die

without knowing the true God.

You did not see how with your tongue

The verbal abuse took it's hold on me

which your words cut me to the core

with your tongue so bad and hurtful

in front of all my peers to hear.

You did not see because of my bed wetting

you made it worse

by demeaning me of the cold baths

which you put me in

and rubbing my nose and face

in the wet sheets

which you then made me wear

around my head at breakfast time

standing out in front of the room

for all to see.

Please God!

Forgive them

for they knew exactly

what they had done

to all of the little, unwanted innocent children

in all the catholic orphanages around the world

who are now shouting out for justice to be done.

For the world to hear the truth

about the abuse to us all.

That was done in God's name

by the men and women of the cloth

who showed no mercy

to the little parent-less children

who had no where to hide.

Copyright@ 2001 Ann Thompson

All Rights Reserved